


Crushes Are Hard

by brosvt



Category: IMFACT (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 05:31:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20371489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brosvt/pseuds/brosvt
Summary: Ungjae likes an upperclassman, and Jeup likes the hot guy from the library. They both can't admit their crushes since crushes are hard.





	Crushes Are Hard

-

Na Ungjae knew it was wrong for him to like a college student as a high school student. He knew that the college student he liked probably had his own life that he was living and that he wouldn’t fit into that life at all. He really wished he didn’t fall in love with the upperclassman who graduated last year, but he just couldn’t get him out of his head. Lee Sang just meant the world to him. He wondered if Sang ever thought about him the same way that he did.

Sometimes, Ungjae liked to send Sang texts of encouragement, and sometimes, those words of encouragement would end up leading to a long conversation that the two of them carried out into the early hours of the morning. Ungjae lived for those moments because those were the moments that he felt like Sang really reciprocated his feelings, and that’s all he really wanted. He just wanted Sang to like him back; was that too much to ask for?

Ungjae hated high school— even when he and Sang were in school together, he still hated it. He hated all the dumb boys that went to his all boys school since they didn’t understand what it was like to be classy but nice at the same time. He really wished he graduated at the same time as Sang. Sang was the only one who knew him well enough, and Sang was the only boy in school that didn’t make him want to vomit. He hated walking to school alone and he hated walking home alone even more. However, he tried to fill long walks to school and back by either listening to recordings of Sang singing— he sent him some recordings of his favorite songs once because he was working on finding good songs to cover— or by texting Sang. Sang rarely texted back, though; he was busy being a college student.

“I hate walking home alone,” Ungjae complained to his older brother.

The two of them were in the kitchen. Ungjae's brother was preparing dinner while Ungjae was sitting by the table doing his homework.

“Don’t walk home alone, then. Make some friends,” his older brother responded.

“I don’t have any friends, Taeho,” Ungjae sighed.

“Yeah, you do! That one guy, uh, what’s his name?” Taeho struggled.

“Sang?” Ungjae asked.

“Yeah! Him,” Taeho nodded. “Walk home with him.”

Ungjae sighed. Sometimes he felt like no one ever listened to him. He told Taeho multiple times that Sang was a year older than him and that he graduated and is going to the same college as him and his friends, but Taeho always got distracted by his dog, Milani, that he just never listened to his younger sibling’s banter. Ungjae sighed and checked his phone to see that Sang texted him. Sang never texted him first. Ungjae’s heart skipped a beat as he grabbed his earbuds and ran out of the house.

Sang asked to call him. Ungjae would never decline that. He left the house because he didn’t want Taeho to hear him talk to the boy that made his heart either stop beating or beat so fast that it would just pop right out of his chest. He put his earbuds in his ears and started walking along the sidewalk in front of his house. He answered Sang’s call after the second ring and said, “Hello?”

“Hey, Ungjae,” Sang said.

Ungjae shivered— it wasn’t cold outside, but just hearing Sang’s voice made him tingle. “What’s up?” he asked.

“I was having trouble with this verse, and I wanted you to listen to it,” Sang said.

Ungjae nodded, then realized that Sang couldn’t see what he was doing, so he let out a tiny little grunt to let Sang know that he was listening. As Sang was singing, Ungjae found himself drowning in Sang’s vocals. He wasn’t paying attention to the lyrics at all, and all he could think about was how close Sang sounded at that moment— he wanted Sang to sing these songs in his ear softly and let him know that everything would be alright, that Sang was his forever. Ungjae was so out of it that he didn’t even realize that Sang finished singing and was asking him how it sounded.

“Ungjae, are you okay? You’re not responding,” Sang said.

“Oh, uh,” Ungjae shook his head and looked at his phone to see Sang’s name shining up at him. “I’m okay. You sound great— I mean, the lyrics sound great.”

“You don’t sound okay. Is anything wrong?” Sang sounded concerned.

Ungjae sighed and said softly, “I hate school.”

“Why?” Sang asked.

“I don’t have any friends, and I hate walking home alone,” Ungjae admitted.

“You have friends, don’t say that,” Sang sounded hurt. “I’m your friend.”

Ungjae blushed. Sang continued, “If you hate walking home alone, why don’t you walk home with some of the boys in your grade?”

“I really would rather not,” Ungjae frowned. “I hate walking with those idiots.”

“Then,” Sang paused and hummed out loud. “What if I came and walked you home?”

“You have school!” Ungjae blurted out.

“So?” Sang laughed, and Ungjae felt his face turn beet red. “I don’t have any classes past noon. I’ll walk you home, I promise.”

Ungjae didn’t know if Sang was being serious or not. He nodded again, but he didn’t speak a single word. Sang continued talking, and Ungjae continued to listen. He really wanted to tell Sang how he felt, but that was probably a bad idea. Liking Sang was probably a bad idea too.

+

Taeho loved showing pictures of his beloved puppy, Milani, to his friends, but they all were starting to get sick and tired of his antics. Jeup normally loved looking at pictures of Milani, but there was a singular reason he was in the library, and that was to check out the hot new librarian. Taeho’s phone was getting in the way of his view.

“Listen, Taeho, I love Milani, and I love seeing pictures of her, but you’re going to have to lay off,” Jeup finally told Taeho straight.

“What?” Taeho was offended.

“I’m trying to check the hot librarian out,” Jeup hissed.

Taeho looked confused. He then looked around and saw the librarian he was talking about. He waved at the librarian, and the librarian waved back. Jeup gasped and swatting Taeho’s arm.

“Why would you do that?” Jeup shrieked quietly.

“That’s Jian,” Taeho said matter-of-factly. “We’re friends. He’s in our grade.”

“What?” Jeup was taken aback.

“Yeah, he’s a dance major. You didn’t know?” Taeho giggled.

“Shut up,” Jeup grumbled; he hated that Taeho was making fun of him. “I didn’t know since I don’t pay attention to people like that.”

Taeho shrugged and went back to looking at pictures of Milani while Jeup continued watching Jian’s every move. He moved so fluidly and gorgeously— Jeup was smitten; it didn't help that Jian was wearing clothes that hugged him in all the right places. He had to befriend that boy, or better yet, he had to make that boy his. Jeup set his mind to it, and once he set his mind to something, he would make it happen.

-

Ungjae exited his classroom looking almost like a sad puppy. He hated high school so much. He felt burdened to do well even though he really didn’t find motivation anywhere, and it just stressed him out. The weather outside was also freakishly sunny, and he hated that too. He liked the rain, and he liked cooler weather, but it was still the beginning of the school year, so it was still hot outside.

Ungjae left the school building and was about to stick his earbuds in his ears when he noticed a familiar figure in front of him. The figure smiled at him, and Ungjae blushed. He didn’t actually think Sang would be outside of the building waiting for him— he didn’t think Sang would actually walk him home. Ungjae didn’t even think Sang would’ve remembered that he said he would walk him home. Ungjae was frozen in his tracks, so Sang started walking towards him.

“Hey, let’s go home,” Sang smiled.

Ungjae hesitated. He took out the single earbud he managed to put in his ear and put his phone in his pocket. Sang pushed Ungjae’s backpack to get him to walk, and Ungjae finally started walking. He was internally panicking, but he tried not to let it show. He was super happy that Sang was walking him home, but he didn’t want to show how happy he was, so he settled for a coy smile while looking at his feet walking alongside Sang’s feet.

“How was school today?” Sang asked after the two walked for a bit in silence.

“School?” Ungjae stuttered. “School was okay. I’m not a fan.”

“That’s alright, you’ll find something to like about it,” Sang smiled reassuringly.

Looking at Sang’s smile made all of Ungjae’s worries vanish. Ungjae smiled back and looked straight ahead of him. He didn’t want the long walk to his house to end, yet for some reason, the walk ended much faster than it usually took him. He was visibly disappointed by the time Sang dropped him off at his house.

“I know school is rough, but you can do it. I promise,” Sang shot Ungjae the most reassuring look.

Ungjae nodded at looked down at the ground dejected.

Sang wanted to cheer him up. He didn’t want Ungjae to look this sad because of school— school should never do that to anyone. Sang slowly rose his hand up to Ungjae’s head and patted it while saying, “Cheer up, please. It’ll get better.”

Ungjae’s eyes widened as he continued looking at the ground. His face was flushed. He couldn’t look up at Sang now; he wouldn’t be able to maintain that eye contact. Sang ruffled Ungjae’s hair and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Ungjae.”

Ungjae nodded while still looking down then shuffled into the house. Sang chuckled to himself as he watched the boy enter the house then close the door slowly behind him before leaving in the direction of his own house.

Ungjae, meanwhile, was leaning against the door, his face bright red. He let out a little squeak and held his hand to his head as he relived the moment where Sang patted and ruffled his hair. He was definitely head-over-heels for the upperclassman he adored.

+

"Jeup, hi! Come in!" Taeho greeted his friend with Milani hugged tightly to his chest.

"You really love her, don't you?" Jeup noted as he entered the house.

"She's the love of my life," Taeho said with a straight face.

There were too many things wrong with that statement, but Jeup thought it would be better to just keep his mouth shut. He entered the house and immediately noticed that there was another pair of shoes on the ground. He looked up at Taeho and asked, “Are those your brother’s shoes?”

“What? No, those are Jian’s. I invited him over,” Taeho said casually.

Jeup nearly choked on his spit. If he knew that Jian was coming over, then he would have dressed nicer; instead, he was wearing the world’s ugliest pair of sweats. Jeup tried to leave so he could go home and change, but Taeho grabbed the hood of his hoodie and said, “Stop it, you look fine.”

“No! I don’t want this outfit to be my first impression,” Jeup cried as he was dragged upstairs to Taeho’s room.

Jian was sitting on the ground setting up the game station, and Jeup almost passed out when he turned to look at the two of them standing in front of the door; Jian was wearing the lowest cut v-neck Jeup had ever seen in his entire life, and his jeans were so ripped he could see Jian’s pale skin peaking through. Jeup was gawking so much that Taeho had to nudge Jeup’s arm.

“I’m Jeup!” Jeup announced before wanting to punch himself in the face.

Jian shot Jeup and awkward smile and nodded as he said, “My name’s Jian. Nice to meet you.”

Jeup really wanted to run away; he could not believe he just embarrassed himself like that in front of the guy he liked— especially because Jeup never acted like that. Jeup tried to run away again, but Taeho wouldn’t let him again, so he settled for sitting as far away as possible from Jian by sitting on Taeho’s bed in the corner of the room. He sat with his legs hugged to his chest while Taeho joined Jian on the ground. Milani, meanwhile, jumped up onto the bed and sat next to Jeup. Even though Milani was next to him, Jeup still felt alone.

Taeho only had two remotes, and so because of how shy Jeup was acting, Jian and Taeho were both playing their game first. Jeup observed the way Jian was playing the games— he was so into each round, all of his attention centered at the screen of the television. He had this determined glare that, not going to lie, kind of turned Jeup on, and when he won a round, he would smile so brilliantly that Jeup thought he was going to go blind. The last time Jeup felt this way about someone was, well, never.

“Jeup, do you want to play?” Taeho asked after about thirty minutes. “I miss Milani.”

Both Jeup and Jian rolled their eyes, and Jeup said, “Okay, fine.”

Jeup slid off the bed and sat on the ground next to Jian while Taeho moved up onto his bed and sat Milani down on his lap. Jeup’s heart started beating a little faster as his knee brushed Jian’s knee, but all of that changed within a matter of seconds as they started playing the game. Jeup didn’t realize how competitive he was until Jian started hunt down his character. The two boys were screaming on the top of their lungs, and finally at the very end, Jian won the round.

Jeup was bitter. He didn’t know he hated losing this much until Jian started rubbing his loss in his face. Jeup forced him for a rematch, and the second time, Jeup won. Apparently, Jian was also a sore loser, so the two boys were at it. They refused to win a single match and kept rematching each other. Taeho didn’t necessarily mind since he was able to spend time with his beloved puppy, but he was starting to get worried because he didn’t want his friends to start fighting.

“When will you just accept your defeat?” Jian asked after winning another game.

“Right back at you, big guy,” Jeup glared at him.

The two started another game, and this time, they started playing dirty. Jian elbowed Jeup’s shoulder, and Jeup tried to grab the remote from Jian’s hands. All of a sudden, the two of them started wrestling for each other’s remotes, and at some point, Jeup pinned Jian down, the two remotes going flying. Taeho had to cover Milani’s eyes and yelped, “Decency! Don’t do that in front of Milani!”

Jeup’s face went red and he let go of Jian’s wrists abruptly. He sat up and moved away while apologizing, Jian sitting up and fixing his shirt. The two of them looked away awkwardly, Jian clearing his throat as Taeho got off his bed. Jeup handed one of the remotes to Taeho, and Jian stood up while saying, “I, uh, have dance practice. I got to go.”

“Okay, I’ll walk you to the door,” Taeho nodded and said, “Jeup, keep an eye on Milani.”

Jeup nodded and kept looking away because he thought his face was still flushed. Just as he was leaving, Jian turned around and said, “Bye, Jeup. I’ll see you around?”

Jeup turned around so fast and nodded while waving. Jian smiled then left, Taeho following behind him. Jeup wanted to slam his head against a wall— he hated how embarrassing he was acting that day, and he could not believe his actions. Taeho returned shortly and closed the door behind him while saying, “Dude, you totally love him.”

“Love?” Jeup choked. “Love is a strong word, but I may or may not have a huge crush on him.”

Taeho rolled his eyes and said, “A huge crush indeed.”

“Shut up,” Jeup glared at him. “I’ve embarrassed myself enough today.”

“Well, apparently it worked, because before he left, Jian asked for your number. He never asks for people’s numbers like that,” Taeho explained. “He’s normally forward with the people he’s interested in.”

“Oh?” Jeup looked hopeful. “Did you give it to him?”

“Yeah,” Taeho nodded.

Jeup was going to ask him more questions, but Taeho got distracted by Milani doing something cute. Jeup sighed and took his phone out of his pocket. All he could do now was to wait for Jian to text him.

-

After that first day, Sang walked Ungjae home from school every day. Ungjae started looking forward to school only because that meant ending the day walking home with the boy he really liked. The weather was still pretty nice outside, but Ungjae prayed for the day it would rain; he loved rainy days.

“Have you found anything you’re interested in doing at school, yet?” Sang asked Ungjae one day.

“Uh, not really. I just try to get through school and leave as soon as possible,” Ungjae admitted; it was getting easier for him to talk casually to Sang because they were together for at least twenty minutes every day (other than weekends, of course).

“Well, you’re really good at music,” Sang said. “You help me out with my pieces, after all. Have you thought about joining some sort of music program?”

“Not really. I mean, I played piano when I was younger, but I don’t like playing for other people. I like playing for myself,” Ungjae explained.

“Then why don’t you go to one of the practice rooms and play the piano at some point during the day? I think you’d have a lot of fun,” Sang smiled.

Ungjae’s face turned a light shade of pink; he wasn’t used to Sang’s gorgeous smiles just yet. He nodded and locked his eyes to his shoes as he said, “Okay, if you say so.”

Sang grinned from ear to ear and ruffled Ungjae’s hair. Ungjae wished Sang would do that for the rest of his life, but baby steps. For now, Ungjae would have to settle for the constant compliments, occasional hair ruffles, and late night phone calls that ended up with Sang serenading him to sleep.

+

Jian texted Jeup everyday, but they weren’t the texts that Jeup wanted from Jian. Jian just wanted a gaming buddy, and Jeup was happy to oblige, but he still wanted something more out of their relationship. At least they didn’t have to hang out at Taeho’s place every time they wanted to play video games.

Most days, Jian would tell Jeup to head over to his place, and Jeup happily frolicked over to Jian’s house. Jian had a younger brother that Jeup never met, but since he was busy walking some kid home from school in between classes, the younger brother was never home. Jeup considered trying to make a move on Jian one of these days, but because of how competitive they got while playing video games, Jeup was never able to make any moves. Maybe today would be the day.

Jeup stood in front of Jian’s door while rocking back and forth on his heels as he waited for Jian. Jian opened the door moments later, and all of the wind was knocked right out of Jeup’s lungs; Jian got more and more breathtaking day by day.

“Welcome,” Jian grinned.

Jeup entered the house and took off his shoes. He found no signs of Jian’s younger brother, which really did mean that today could be the day that he finally made a move. Jian led Jeup up to his room, and the two sat down on Jian’s bed as Jian turned on his television.

“What did you want to play today?” Jian asked.

Jeup didn’t respond. He just stared at Jian. He wanted to make a move, but he didn’t know what move to make.

“Jeup?” Jian turned and looked at Jeup, who was just staring him down. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?” Jeup snapped out of it and started laughing. “Yeah! We can play whatever you want to play.”

Jian eyed him suspiciously before turning the television off and facing Jeup face to face. “What’s wrong?” Jian asked.

Jeup tried to maintain eye contact with Jian as he answered, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“You look so out of it! I highly doubt that nothing’s wrong,” Jian looked worried. “Talk to me about it.”

Jeup didn’t want to talk about it— especially not to Jian. He didn’t want to tell the guy he had a massive crush on that he had a massive crush on him; he already embarrassed himself enough in front of Jian. He kept silent for so long that Jian was starting to question Jeup’s sanity. Jeup’s thoughts were flying, though. He contemplated just telling Jian about his feelings, but at the same time, he didn’t have enough courage for that.

Jeup was silent for about three minutes with his internal conflicts at that point, and Jian was worried for him. Jian placed his hand on Jeup's knee and tried to get him to talk, but instead, Jeup stared at Jian intently.

The eye contact was intense— Jian couldn't look away, and Jeup didn't blink at all. The air in the room suddenly got thick, and all the two could do was stare at each other. Jeup, finally, moved and he cupped Jian's cheek lightly before leaning and pressing his lips against Jian's lips.

The first thing that Jeup noticed about kissing Jian was how incredibly plush Jian's lips were; he always knew Jian had thick lips, but, god, his lips were just so soft and luscious that Jeup pressed himself closer into Jian's lips. He had leaned into him so much that Jian had to lean back in his bed, his head hitting the pillow.

Jian's hands grabbed at Jeup's shirt and pulled him in close, Jeup's hands moving from Jian's face to his waist. Jeup didn't want this moment to end. He just wanted to keep kissing Jian as long as humanly possible. He'd been waiting for this moment since the time he laid eyes on the boy in the library.

"You know," Jian said breathlessly in between kisses. "I was wondering when you were going to do this."

"Do what?" Jeup was so distracted.

"Kiss me," Jian smirked.

Jeup didn't even answer Jian. He just continued kissing him. Now that he had him, he never wanted to let go.

-

The day had come. Ungjae finally got the rain he had been asking for. It was raining really hard outside, and Ungjae was just in love. If there was anything he loved more than Sang, it was the rain. Ungjae left the school building with the biggest smile on his face, and Sang was nowhere to be found. Even though Sang wasn’t around, Ungjae’s smile didn’t waver. Ungjae ran out into the rain without a care in the world— he didn’t have an umbrella or anything. Ungjae just wanted to play in the rain.

Ungjae ran out and was soaking. He took off his jacket and backpack and let it fall to the ground as he opened his arms and let the rain fall on him. Surprisingly enough, there was no one around to witness the boy embracing the rain. It was just Ungjae and the rain. He smiled towards the sky and let his arms fall to his side.

“Ungjae! What are you doing?” Ungjae heard Sang call out.

Ungjae looked towards the school building and saw Sang standing under the shade with an umbrella in his hands. He could see Sang had a concerned expression on his face, and all Ungjae wanted to do was smile back. He was having the time of his life.

“Why are you acting like this?” Sang asked.

“Do you ever just want to pretend that you’re in a movie?” Ungjae asked back. “This is that moment for me.”

Sang observed Ungjae. His shirt was completely soaked, and he could see through his shirt. The shirt clung tightly to Ungjae’s body to the point where Sang couldn’t even look away because of how transparent his shirt was. All Sang wanted to do was stare. Ungjae didn’t even see Sang staring.

Sang dropped the umbrella where he was and walked over to Ungjae in the rain. He grabbed his face and pressed his lips against his roughly, yet, passionately. He stood there for a good couple of seconds just kissing Ungjae and letting the rain fall down on their heads and soak them to their very core. Sang didn’t know what prompted him to kiss Ungjae, but he knew that he just had to be kissing Ungjae otherwise the world would stop rotating.

“Sang? Sang!” Ungjae called out.

Sang blinked. He was still holding the umbrella and standing near the building, and Ungjae was picking up his stuff and walking over to where Sang was standing.

“What happened?” Ungjae asked him. “You spaced out.”

“Nothing,” Sang shot Ungjae a reassuring smile. “Let’s head home.”

Sang opened the umbrella and just as he took a step forward, Ungjae sneezed. Sang laughed and held the umbrella over both of their heads while he said, “Let’s head to my place first. You’re going to catch a cold at this rate, and my place is only five minutes away.”

Ungjae nodded; he was very cold at this moment, and he hated getting sick, anyway.

Sang made Ungjae stand at the door once they got to his place so that he wouldn’t track any water into the house. Ungjae stood at the door and looked around; this was the first time he had gone to Sang’s house. It looked like an average house, and to be quite honest, Ungjae didn’t know why that surprised him.

“Here,” Sang said as he returned with towels and clothes. “Go take a shower, and then let me know when you’re done. Here’s some of my clothes. The shower is upstairs and is the first door on the left.”

Ungjae nodded and tried not to blush as he took the towels and clothes from Sang’s hands and ran off upstairs to take a shower. He took a quick shower and contemplated using Sang’s body wash only to realize that there were like fifty different products in the bathroom. He just settled for washing himself with warm water and exiting the shower.

Sang had apparently given Ungjae some sweats that Ungjae could’ve sworn he’d worn in front of him before and a pair of underwear. Ungjae blushed as he put the underwear on and the rest of his clothes on before exiting the bathroom and heading downstairs.

When Ungjae got downstairs, Sang was nowhere to be found. He looked around, but there were literally no traces of Sang anywhere. Ungjae entered the living room and saw a piano sitting in the corner of the room. It was a pretty nice piano, but it wasn’t anything upscale. Ungjae hesitantly walked towards the piano and sat down at the bench in front of the piano. He lifted the lid of the piano and looked at the black and white keys with uncertainty. He really didn’t know if he could play a single chord anymore since it had been years, but he might as well try to play.

The first chord Ungjae played was gorgeous, and the second one was even more beautiful. Sang was actually upstairs tuning his guitar when he heard Ungjae play chords on the piano. Suddenly, the chords turned into a song, and it was the most amazing song that Sang had ever heard. He made his way downstairs and observed as Ungjae played the piano with such concentration that it made Sang shiver. Sang was so infatuated with the song that Ungjae was playing.

“Hi, uh,” Ungjae abruptly stopped playing the second Sang sat down next to him. “I was just playing the piano.”

“I know,” Sang smiled at him. “You play really well.”

Ungjae’s face went pink. He looked away and said quietly, “Thank you.”

Ungjae could feel Sang looking at him, and he really wished that Sang would just stop looking at him because he was getting more and more shy by the second. He looked back at Sang, only to feel Sang’s lips crash into his. Ungjae’s eyes widened as Sang cupped Ungjae’s face softly, carefully. This kiss meant the world to Ungjae, but the only word revolving in his head was “why?”

The kiss lasted only seconds. Ungjae leaned back slightly disappointed, but at least now he was able to ask Sang his burning question of, “Why? Not that it’s a problem, but why?”

“I’ve been wanting to for a while,” Sang admitted.

“Since when?” Ungjae breathed out.

“Since forever,” Sang smiled.

“Well, don’t stop now,” Ungjae grabbed at the collar of Sang’s shirt and pulled him into his face, their lips crashing.

Sang’s lips felt so right, so perfect pressing against Ungjae’s own lips. It was everything to him, and he wanted to stay like that forever and ever until the world ended; and for once, Ungjae knew that Sang felt the same way.


End file.
